Chapter 27: The Moment You Realise You Are In Love!

Hey Guys,

So after over 4 years of being single, I've finally found someone who I think I might love.

My last relationship, all those years ago was an interesting time for me, it is what I would regard as my first 'serious' relationship and I really did love it, knowing that someone loves you for you is one of the best feelings and for the 4 months and 29 days *roughly* in 2011, I had that.

Now, I'm not saying that in the last 4 years there has been absolutely nothing, there has been girls who I've been interested in, that I realised very quickly weren't into me, and we are still friends to this day, I've even had a hell of a lot of bromances over the last 4 years, nothing sexual and nothing even remotely serious but perhaps more something that has put me off needing to find the special someone because feeling love, even in a stupid pretend banterous relationship with your mates still is enough to fill my need for attention.

I've never been the guy to want or look for the right girl, I've always just been content with waiting and seeing what will happen, yeah, it's sad when you see your friends get a girlfriend but it never made me want one more, I was content with being single, no stress, no problems and just happy.

But now, there is this one girl, and when I'm near her, which isn't massively often, I lighten up and I feel all tingly. She's pretty, talented and funny as well as being fun to be around and someone who can handle 'The Banter', as well as I can. I think there is something in her that likes me too, but there's just something between us, whether its her incredibly close relationship with her friends which perhaps intimidates me sightly or the fact that she is soo out of my league or the fact that I even just see her with other boys or a whole host of other situations...there just seems to be something in the way.

I'm not a jealous person, so it's not the fact that she is with other boys, it's more the fact that I don't want to risk losing her as a friend by asking her if she likes me and then one of these boys, who are all more attractive than me physically (but not necessarily in personality-and let's face it. girls always go for the looks first), just happens to be her boyfriend, or someone she likes more.

I think this is love, But then again, it's been a while since I've truly felt it and I don't know what's best for me to do, perhaps staying single is just a better option for me, but in the end, that's not the happy choice, it's not the happy ending, it's not how I thought my life would go...but maybe this whole relationship thing just isn't for me, maybe something else is what I need to focus on more.

But to the girl, if you are reading this, just know that this is how I feel, you don't have to tell anyone, you don't even have to bring it up with me, just know. With Love, Me xxx

So until next time guys,
Stay Happy,
Love Someone,
And Goodbye.

Mitch xxx